[The following is meant to be satirical, and in no way suggests that these are the actual words, thoughts, feelings or actions of Michele Bachmann, her husband Dr. Marcus Bachmann, or any other individuals with the misfortune of being associated with these nuts.]
GOD DAMMIT! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! HOW DARE THEY? JESUS CHRIST I HATE THEM SO MUCH.
Dear Diary,
Well, the assholes liberal media did it again. They are attacking my perfect family, my amazing husband and my 257 former foster children that I raised from the cradle to the grave. I calmly told them that my family is off limits. So NOW some stupid bastards reporters have dug up comments I made about Michelle (my name is prettier) Obama during the 2008 presidential campaign, and saying that if I can attack her, why can’t people attack Marcus and my 257 316 484 514 foster children and my real kids, wherever they are.
Because I’m WHITE YOU PRICKS obviously, as a black woman muslim wife colored person in America, Michelle (I do like my name a lot better) Obama is used to being attacked, while Marcus, being a straight, white WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN…American male, is not.
Marcus thinks we need a vacation. I think I need to bring a loaded gun with me wherever I go and the next time some socialist dickwad liberal reporter asks me a question about my perfect husband, and my 873 foster children, and my GOD DAMN MORTGAGE my personal finances, I will wave the gun in his or her face and tell them where they can stick their microphone.
God is good. Amen.
Wow, I feel a lot better. I am curious how The Onion found out about my little problem, though. I need a hug from Steve. SHIT.
Love,
Michele (with only ONE L the way it’s supposed to be)
PS-That Muslim foreigner in the White House is making my life a living HELL.
[Read other Diary entries here.]
Recent Comments