Stephen Colbert took on the right-wing freak out over the new healthcare benefit making birth control accessible to women free of charge with no co-pays. The further benefits of the plan cover breast pumps for nursing mothers, free HIV screenings, abuse counseling, and more. Overall, the policy makes preventative care available to more women at little to no cost.
Obviously, as the right-wingers would have us believe, this will turn every woman in America into mindless, irresponsible sluts and whores.
“This is an outrage! A woman’s health decisions are a private matter, between her priest and her husband! Folks, I don’t believe in birth control; if you want to control your fertility, do it the way God intended: with a cold, loveless marriage.”
Colbert then set his sights on Rep. Steve King (R-IA), who earlier this week idiotically equated the new policy with the death of the American civilization, saying:
“They’ve called it preventative medicine. Preventative medicine. Well if you applied that preventative medicine universally what you end up with is you’ve prevented a generation.”
Colbert agreed, and made this incredibly salient point:
“Exactly! Americans only have children by accident. It’s clearly hard to imagine anyone having Steve King on purpose.”
Damn, that’s gotta hurt! But the truth is painful sometimes and I’m glad he said it.
He moved on to the manufactured outrage being whipped up over at Faux News – as per usual – by their majestically stupid talking heads and pundits, and the slut-shaming taking place over there, which is meant to demean women and keep them enslaved and subservient to the patriarchal authority, which means no sexual rights for women and perpetuates the idea that women are unstable, impulsive and emotionally stunted, and have no business being in charge of their own lives, their own sexuality or their own health:
“Hickory Smoke lady and I know that if we give your daughters and granddaughters access to birth control, they will instantly turn into wanton harlots, with an insatiable sexual appetite. Because you know women, they’re always on the edge of nympho-maniacal, orgiastic abandon!”
Screw the women! Because what really matters in this country are the other, more important health issues:
“This is why we must appeal Obamacare and get back to insurance companies covering only real, necessary medical expenses, like boner pills.”