We’ve all been waiting for it: the first splurge of cash from Stephen Colbert’s SuperPAC, which has now set its sights on Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX), as he prepares to announce his bid for president in the 2012 elections.
Already, Colbert’s SuperPAC, Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, has prepared a new ad for airing in Iowa this weekend to coincide with that state’s Iowa Straw Poll. The ad isn’t public, yet, but Colbert teased his audience with the briefest of clips, promising that those who have signed up at his PAC’s website, will be the first to see it, come Wednesday.
Before revealing the “clip,” Colbert took on S&P’s recent downgrading of America’s credit rating:
“Who are the S&P to downgrade us? These are the same geniuses who overestimated our deficit by $2 trillion dollars. Plus, they didn’t even list America’s most valuable asset: Jesus. It says, right on our money, ‘In God We Trust’! If the Lord can turn water into wine, surely, he can turn our debt into wine, which is good, because we’re going to need a drink.”
He then lasered in on Perry’s prayer-a-palooza, The Response:
“That’s why, personally, folks, I loved The Response. Texas governor Rick Perry’s completely non-political prayer event, held on Saturday in Houston’s Reliant Stadium to ask God to fix America.”
I don’t know about you guys ‘n’ gals, but I’m pretty damn sick of the religious brow-beating coming from Perry and his ilk.
“It comes just one week before the Republican straw poll in Ames, Iowa. Now, the straw poll is a six-hour festival of food, beer and non-binding, pre-electoral process that has no connection to the Iowa caucus. Whoever wins the straw poll, will have a massive, symbolic victory that will propel them to the White House. Just ask past winners President Pat Robertson, President Bob Dole, and President Phil Gramm.”
Because of the timing, Perry will have to count on write-in votes and will need some SuperPAC cash:
“And Perry already has seven groups competing to be the Rick Perry super PAC, including Americans for Rick Perry SuperPAC, GrowPAC SuperPAC, and Jobs for Iowa SuperPAC, which recently ran this ad […] So I would just like to say, back off, bitches! I saw him first! Ok? I endorsed Perry weeks ago! I already called ‘shotgun’! Though, he may not have heard, since people in Texas are always yelling ‘shotgun’. So hands off my Rick! He’s the last donut on the office break room snack tray, and I licked him!”
Let the games begin!
WATCH a sneak peek at Colbert’s first SuperPAC commercial: